So, after fighting the talking titan, those injured were sent back to the city to heal. Lief, Thomas and Frank or Fred(The English dude) were escorted by Wickeninnish or something I wasn’t there. While that happened, Niel set about getting the rest of his group(Valentino, Banquo and Sora) all geared up and ready to chase the talking titan. It’s at this point that Calamity, her assistant Morty, and I road up and joined the party. Calamity jumped off her horse and landed on Banquo’s back knocking him to the ground. She then hogtied him and ridiculed him to which Niel told her what happened. However upon hearing of a talking titan my boss Calamity took off in a mad dash, following the trail and leaving all of us behind.
Once Calamity was well out of view I cut Banquo’s rope and let him return to his horse. We made sure everything was ready and the pack horse set before following after her when we see a flare go off in the distance. Turns out a deviant titan was spotted by Calamity and she needed help. We set off in a sprint and when we caught up the speed in which this titan ran was insane. It jumped over the entire group which caused Calamity to veer course and smash into Valentino’s horse leaving him reeling and her still going. However, it wasn’t long before the deviant was gone, running too fast for even the horses to catch up.
Returning back to the trail the talking titan had left, it wasn’t long before the best thing that happened this trip. Calamity(of course) nearly trampled and bear cub which made the mother exceptionally angry. The Bear charged Calamity which made her horse take off in a mad dash, Calamity nearing falling off but still keeping her grip tried to regain control. With her out of the way, the bear turned her attention towards the next closest target. Banquo, the one who usually has to deal with Calamity’s misfortunes.(hehehe) Banquo got his chest clawed up, knocking him off his horse and she grabbed him on the ground. I told them to get the cub away from the fight will drive the mother away as I road up and smacked her on the face with my blade. She didn’t like that. Valentino took it upon himself to 3D gear and grab the cub, who being scared and fussy bite his hand. He then took the bear a distance away, drawing the mother off of Banquo and towards the baby bear. Calamity getting control of her horse rides off to retrieve Valentino so we could continue following the trail.
Niel, and I quote, said that he’d never seen such a big cluster fuck over something that wasn’t a titan.
Well after riding for a bit, the night rose upon us so Niel called that we set up camp. However before we were even able to get off the horses, an arrow hit the ground in front of us and four tribal men walked into view. Three carried spears and one a giant sword club with obsidian shards jammed into the sides to create the blade. We assumed there was another with a bow hidden in the trees. The one with the sword club spoke, “Leave your food here, now, and you can be on your way. Or if you rather we can kill your small band and take everything you have.”
Calamity, riding to the front of the group said, “Can you give us a titan?” with a giant snear on her face. I knew she had no intention of giving up our food to these people who somehow have survived outside the walls. He wasn’t pleased with that and as their banter devolved he decided enough was enough. The Sword dude ran and jumped at Calamity, hitting her in the leg with his sword. She screamed, but with her trusty lasso wrapped the rope around his neck a took off in a dead sprint dragging sword dude behind her. An arrow flew out of the trees somewhere but didn’t even get close to Calamity. Already seething, I aimed my 3D Gear at the Spear Wielder in the middle and fired my harpoon into his shoulder. I retracted the cable, ripping him from his group and sliced his arm with my vibrational blade like a hot knife through butter. There was a lot of blood and I roared, ready to destroy some lives.
The two remaining spearmen took this as initiative to run away. Doing so they were joined by another who jumped out of the bushes to follow them. Just guessing, was probably the archer. The one spearman who I felled was writhing in pain when Niel and Banquo began to patch him up so we could interrogate him. I swear, everyone gave me weird looks after that battle. When Calamity finally returned we saw that sword dude wasn’t doing so well. Neck broken and body ripped up from the foliage, rocks and trees he sure of hit. Served him right for attacking the boss, I never seen a rope used like that before.
After interrogating “Grave” as Calamity insisted on calling him, since I guess he was close to death, we found out that the people are titan worshipers. All of the sudden and old woman walked up to us from the direction the other three ran off. Both Calamity and I had our Muskets trained on her but she raised her hands as if to show she came in pieces. I lowered mine but Calamity still feeling a might bit jumpy kept her Musket up.
From talking with the old woman we discovered a couple of interesting tidbits: There are indeed titan worshipers, they worship the talking titan, Sword dude’s name was Bodg, Bodg was a idiot and his choices go against what these people believe, they wanted Grave to chose his own death, and we were invited to their village. Niel gave the go ahead and we joined the Elder chick and went to her village.
The village was a lot bigger then most of us expected. There had to be more then fifty people living here. Mostly young but there were even children. When we got to the center of the village Elder chick and Calamity talked for a bit with Calamity being difficult over the bloody rag that used to be Bodg. Even as his assumed wife and child ran to his corpse crying and acting a fool. She eventually gave in and cut him from her horse, as his family took what remained of him to one of the many caves surrounding the village.
After more talking and such, it was agreed that we’d return Grave in exchange for them calling the Talking God. While stuff was getting prepared we were encouraged to talk amongst the towns folk and what not. I helped Calamity gather wood and other things needed for the ritual. Others learned about the strange culture of titan lovers, who sacrifice themselves to the mad gods and are protected by the talking god who they feed. A symbiotic relationship. After a while everything was prepared.
The Elder chick lit and massive bond fire and many of the tribal people used cloth to create smoke signals to hopefully bring the Talking God, though we were told it doesn’t always work. This time it did. We heard giant foot steps getting closer by the second. It wasn’t long till the Talking God appeared. He saw Niel and they began to have a conversation. I really didn’t understand what was going on cause I kinda got distracted by that beautiful neck. Anyways he motioned at me angrily and I just shrugged my shoulders acting like I was paying attention. Elder chick got him to calm down and the Talking God decided he wanted to play a game. We had to catch him as he ran away, the only way to catch him was to cut him twice and those cuts had to be open at the same time. He’d give us two days, wouldn’t disappear on us but we couldn’t stop chasing him.
He gave himself a ten minute head start and we started chasing him at exactly ten minutes. It wasn’t long before we spotted him, me and Calamity saw him first hiding next to a cluster of trees. Everyone switched to 3D Gear to zoom in and get him though for some reason Calamity didn’t leave her horse. Too excited I guess? Banquo and Valentino missed and as Niel went in for a face hit, I went in for his ankle. Niel missed but the Talking God was looking for him and distracted. I managed to cut the front of his right ankle. Unfortunately not enough to slow him down in the slightest but he charges forward and we all had to return to our horses. It took awhile but we managed to catch back up to him, Banquo and Valentino were there first however. Valentino managed to gash open his face, which would had won it for us if my cut hadn’t of healed by that point. All our hearts skipped a beat however as Valentino was grabbed. Banquo went for the Talking God’s hand but his cable got grabbed and wrapped around the Talking God’s wrist effectively snaring him and breaking his blades.
Everyone else missed their marks and the day continued reaching afternoon. Horses tired we went in again, he dodged us with ease as he licked Banquo burning him with steam and covering him in gooey saliva. He hurled all over his cable and clothes. I felt sorry for him. It was then that the Talking God stopped. He told us congratulations or something cause Valentino cut him while being held and the face cut was still fresh. He let Valentino go and unraveled Banquo who’s stomach wasn’t feeling to good. Turns out he has a phobia of spit. Who knew? So the Talking God began to answer questions from only Valentino as he is the only one the Talking God respected. Turns out his name is Jerome and he gave us all nicknames! I got Psychopath with made me smile with pride. So as he continued to talk and answer questions me and Calamity with the help or her assistant Morty began to take samples of Jerome. He didn’t like it but did what Valentino asked.
Calamity thought it was a splendid idea to try and take one of his teeth so we kept climbing up only to be grabbed calmly and set on the ground any time we got up to his shoulders. The conversation led to he being a reverse shifter, a titan who can turn into a human. He shifted when Calamity, Morty and I were up on his shoulders so we had to 3D off of him real fast. I nearly smashed into the ground but we all can’t be super good all the time.
Jerome appeared out of the massive cloud of steam wearing torn up rages that didn’t really do anything except cover his dangling privates. Everyone was like “Oh shit!” and all I kept thinking was if he was a titan that turned into a human if he had twigs and berries. So I asked him, “If your a titan that turns into a human, do you have and bits and bobs?”
Course Jerome had no qualms about flashing me his meat. He smiled and turned his head slightly, I fist pumped. Course this is when Calamity thought it’d be a great idea to Hog tie him and throw Jerome onto Banquo’s horse. Banquo wasn’t happy, though I don’t think anyone but Calamity was happy. It didn’t take long for Jerome to Shift back to titan form, somehow not crushing Banquo’s horse and told us to leave. He said he’d give us three days to get back to our walls or he’d kill us all. We deftly skedaddled out of there making no friends whatsoever. All thanks to Calamity. So yeah, we made it back to the city and that’s that Diary. Yup a fun time outside the wall.
Oh yeah, and Jerome tots has the hots for Valentino. I ship it.